Sunday, October 26, 2008

Does anybody read this?

Sometimes I feel like I am typing this and only I am reading it. I don't know if anyone else reads this blog. Anyways, this past week I got a call from the church about helping a family out. The mom is in the hospital and she will be there for awhile. The dad needs someone to watch their two girls (2 months and 18 months) during the day while he is at work (he's a teacher). They have a son, also that's in kindergarten, but they didn't need someone to watch him. I knew this family and since I'm currently unemployed decided I would help out. What a crazy first day that was! I know understand why moms enjoy every second when their babies are asleep. You constantly have to watch Morgan (18 month old). She gets into everything! It's definitely tiring and it's the hardest I've worked in a long time. I'm just glad that I can help them out while their mom is in the hospital. Anyways, I'm still looking for a job so we'll see if I can eventually find one or not.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

New Outlook

Since my other post, which was only like an hour ago, I've come to the point where some changes need to be made. God needs to be a priority in my life. I used to get up everyday and so my devotions first thing in the morning, then I changed to the evenings. I'm going to try and start each day with time with God. I am also going to try and get better at praying. I use to have cards and I would pray for different things each day. I need to do that again. Pray is a strong thing. I need to keep praying and not get disouraged. Here are some of my favorite songs:

"Sweetly Broken" -Jeremy Riddle
"My Glorious" -Chris Tomlin
"Mighty to Save" -Hillsong
"Come Thou Fount" -Passion Worship Band
"Your Grace is Enough" -Chris Tomlin


So I was reading this book and when I finished it, I just had a breakdown. I'm still in the middle of my breakdown I guess. I just started crying. I'm so discouraged with my life right now. I have no job, no house, and I'm not anywhere where I thought I would be. Sometimes I feel so alone. At church today, the sermon was about how we crave intimacy with God. I just feel like God's not there even though in my head I know he is, my heart just feels like he has deserted me. Maybe I need to spend more time in prayer or reading my bible, I don't know. I just feel like I have all these questions with no answers. I don't know what to do. I don't know where I'm suppose to be. I don't what I'm going to do. I don't know where my life is headed. I hate the uncertainty of not knowing anything. I like to have a plan. I find myself constantly thinking of how things might happen in the future. I just don't know what is going to happen to me. Maybe I just like having a routine. Who knows? I just wish God would clue me on something. It's like he's trying to teach me a lesson in waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...and patience. I know I need to learn patience, but I've just reached the point where I'm sick of it. I'm tired of waiting. When will something happen? I just want to settle down a nice job, a nice house, maybe a dog and a family. Is that too much to ask? I guess I just need to trust God. He's given me a peace about the job, but sometimes I don't take that as enough. I just get tired of waiting. Tired of not being able to do things, because I'm trying not to spend money. Tired of not being able to help pay for things. Money truely is the root of all evil. I'm coming to realize that.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Another day...

So I went to the unemployment office on monday, it wasn't too bad. I was there for two hours, but I got it done. Then I went by CSU to see Mr. Little who told me I should go see Mr. Parker and introduce myself to him, so he would know who I was since I applied for a job working for him. I don't know if I'll get it or not. I'm leaning more towards the probably not. Then I went and dropped of my application for a job I saw at the city of Goose Creek. Who knows what will happen with that one. This is sad. I'm drawing a blank with what happened on tuesday. Yesterday I worked at Child's Day Out at the church. It wasn't bad. Then I went to storage to get some things and put some things up. Then church that night. Yesterday went by pretty quick. Today I cleaned my bathroom and Andy and Ellisa's bathroom. I also cleaned some of the marks off the wall until my Mr. Clean Magic Eraser fell apart. Now I've got to take a shower, then head to the library to get a library card. I need some books to read.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

A La De Da Week

So this week was pretty boring. I really wish I could find a job. On monday, I just drove back to Charleston from Greenville so that day was pretty uneventful. Tuesday, I went to the chiropracter and got adjusted then went by CSU to talk to Brigitte and ask Jim a question about the transfer enrollment counselor job. Anyways, turns out that they've pretty much decided on the transfer enrollment counselor position, which I should have applied for because it wasn't a terrible amount of travel. Jim told me they have another enrollment counselor position opening, but it involves a TON of travel, and I'm not really up for that. I was going to go see Mr. Little when I was finished up there, but when I was driving by the building, there was a news crew set up, so I really didn't want to be on tv. I was going to go by Berenyi after lunch, but it was only 11:30. I talked myself into going to Lifeway and getting these 2 books that I really wanted with the birthday money my mom had given me from my grandmother. Then I went to ABC and ate lunch and started reading one of my books. It's a little weird eating lunch by yourself, but it wasn't too bad since I had a book to read. I went by Berenyi to talk to everyone. It was good to see Lori, Sandie, Tammie, Kathy and Susan. Sandie invited me to a BBQ at her house that's tonight, so I might go to that. She also told me that her daughter got saved at the Franklin Graham Festival. Way to go Emma! Anyways, after I left there, I came home to apply for a different job at CSU. I was in the middle of filling out that application when Tammy walked in and surprised Ellisa. She was just here for the day. Then I had to leave to go to piano. Piano isn't too bad. Jacob just seems to get it and he just really understands everything with ease. Whereas his sister, Gracey, has a really difficult time. She gets discouraged super easy and doesn't practice as much as she should which really doesn't help. Her mom mentioned stopping with her at the end of the month. I told her ok, but later, when I was thinking about it, I really think she should at least finish the first book. That way she is familiar with the basics and when she gets older she will be able to at least pick out the basic notes. After piano, I came back here where a ton of people were to eat dinner with Tammie. Basically, that sums up my tuesday. I would say that was my busiest day of the week.

Wednesday wasn't very eventful. I played rock band with Leah in the afternoon and then went to church to help with Cubbies. Next week I'm helping with Katie's class again, so it should be fun. On thursday, I went to the church to help with the Children's Extravaganza. I sorted clothes and it was pretty fun. I saw a lot of really cute outfits. Then I went to Michelle's and pretty much hung out with her and the kids the rest of the day. Friday, I went to the church again to finish helping with whatever they needed me to do. I bought four outfits, 2 for Sandie and 2 for Ellen. I figured if I don't find a job soon, at least I have something to give them. Then I came home and pretty much spent the rest of the day here by myself. I didn't really do much. I was going to design somethings for Krista's scrapbook, but I got really sleepy. Anyways, I about killed Charlie because he decided to tear a hole in Bella's old bed and rip all the stuffing out. I immediately started yelling at him and he knew he was in trouble. He kept running from me and all I was trying to do was get him to look at what he had done and say no and then put him outside. Anyways, he ran into his cage at one point and I had a hard time getting him to come out of that room. Just like a child. He got put outside for the rest of the day. He didn't get dinner and went straight to the cage and stayed there until this morning. Maybe I'm mean, but I'm just tired of him always making a mess. Right now, he's outside. It looks like it might rain, but I'm just going to let him stay outside so at least he can run around. Bella was outside but she is inside right now. She is such a better behaved dog than Charlie. Anyways, I think I'm going to go to Sandie's in a little while. I still haven't decided about going to Mary's shower. I don't have a present or anything. I also got invited to go out for Ellen's b'day, but I really am trying to watch how I spend my money so I passed on that, but told them to call me if they did something later. Anyways, I'm going to look some more for a job. Pray for me that I'll find one soon. My goal next week is to go to the unemployment office.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Done with Weddings!

So I finished the weddings that I have to be in. I'm so glad they are all over. I still have one left to go to this year, but I'm not in it, so that is great for me. Anyways, below are some of my favoite pictures from Gina' s wedding. I was so sick for Krista's.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


So I was flipping through the channels a few moments ago and I there was a program called Barack Obama's Plan for America. I look closer at the channel and it says Obama. What in the world? Obama can pay for a tv station to promote his propoganda, but can't fix the problems with the economy. How about you spend the money of people that probably can't afford to give you money but do it anyways, because they are blinded by who you really are, on something more important. For real! I was totally floored by it. I thought, this is ridiculous. Obama tv? What's next? Manson tv? Give me a break. I do not want to watch Obama read a teleprompter. Anyways, maybe I'm being a little extreme, but the more I hear about Obama, the more I can't stand the guy. I'm sure he is a really nice guy, but just because you are a nice guy does not mean you are a good leader. What has he accomplished? Who does he associate with? That's what I look at. The people you surround yourself with say a lot about who you really are. That being said, I think if Obama becomes president, I might move to England or some other sane country, because if he is elected, it's because everyone here is insane.